Jesus Christ, I started this post like I run a goddamn travel blog.
I’m fucking beat…that whole vacation from a vacation thing applies to this weekend. I just need to relax, maybe drink some beer, play cards, and not get trashed since I spent a week getting trashed 18 hours a day.
I feel stupider and fatter today than when I left—pretty much how you’re supposed to feel if you truly had a good time.
Oh, and I’m darker.
Oh, and broker. A lot broker.
I don’t gamble much, unless you count unprotected sex and drunk driving, but I decided that I would this time because my mom and uncles enjoy it.
Well, I lost two hundred bucks the first night playing blackjack. Fucking shit. The goddamn dealer was getting 21 on 15 and 14 non stop. I don’t gamble, but as a kid I learned how to play blackjack from my grandpa, who was a card counter, so I have a good grasp on the game. I can’t count cards, but I know when it’s advantageous to hit and stay, and I know progressive betting based off the cards already used in a single deck—none of that mattered, my mom and I got raped by this dealer. It wasn’t fun at all, though I could’ve been winning and I still wouldn’t have fun; gambling is just stupid—casinos exist because they make more money than lose. Enough Said.
I lost another two hundred dollars playing slots.
I’m done gambling.
We spent most of our time at the pool drinking and watching the kids play. My cousin had a room on the bottom floor, next to the pool, so we just kept a few gallons of vodka and rum stocked, and had the kids feed them to us throughout the day.
Two bad things happened:
1)My racist uncle said porch monkey around my sister, who has two black kids, and I nearly killed him. My mom had to hold me back. She told us the usual, “that’s just the way he is”. FUCK THAT. I’m not having it. That was his one. Never again.
2) Someone stole my medication. Fuck. Had to file a police report. Upside: the hotel is going to call me for compensation. Maybe I’ll get a few free rooms.
Other than those, it was amazing.
I took my mom out to a fancy dinner at a place called Bininis. Her and I shared a 40oz tomahawk prime rib—it was divine…expensive as fuck, but divine.
I chose to sleep early the last night, and guess what, everybody won; not just win though, they made 6 thousand dollars between four of them.
I just have bad fucking luck. If I were there they’d be down.
And then I went home. There’s probably more to say, but I’m bored, and my brother bought tequila. Adios.