I’ve met people who didn’t listen to music. This post should end there, so I can go end myself.
I like to ask people whether they’d choose to be deaf or blind. Surprisingly, most would prefer to be deaf. Oh, nevermind, now that I wrote it out I understand why. Sorry folks, if you’re new here, I try to write my stream of thought, without deleting what I previously wrote(minus words) so I contradict myself and answer my own questions a lot.
I understand being blind would be much harder than being deaf, for the average person, but being deaf would be impossible for me, I think—I could be wrong.
I can’t make music. I have a person with ADD’s attention span. I hate when people with shitty attention spans say they have ADD. Sorry, stream of thought.
Shit, I just remembered that I’m horribly self loathing and prone to racing thoughts; I’m not sure music would be able to soothe that when I’m staring at nothingness. But fuck, if I didn’t have music, what would block out the voices.
Alright, slight change: would I less likely kill myself if I was deaf or blind?
Still going with blind.
My paintings would be shit, unless I could annoyingly label them as homages to Pollock. And biking. Fuck. I wouldn’t be able to bike.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I’m on the verge of killing myself as is, I wouldn’t survive either.
Oy, where was I going with this post? Something about music.
We all have a song, or playlist, we go to when we’re feeling down. My go to is a rare acoustic version of Jimi Hendrix’s Angel. I never knew how rare it was until I lost the CD it was on. I can’t buy it anywhere, it’s not on Youtube, which is my main music source, and for a while, I went without it. Sad times. But I found it on soundcloud recently. I’d take this song over a rough fuck with Marion Cotillard…really, I would. But nobody understands why I love it so much. The reason is simple and silly: Hendrix hits the wrong string about 1/3rd of the way through. My love for beauty despite imperfection.
I’m not sure why I never posted this post—it was basically done.